Baby Love

The long-awaited arrival of the newest Aubrey has finally come! Kayla Alexandra Aubrey entered the world on January 14 & she is the most beautiful baby ever seen by human eyes. I'm not even just saying that because she's my niece, I'm really serious. I am totally obsessed with her & also amazed. Whenever I see her, all I can do is just stare at her & watch her like a big old creep. All she does right now is basically sleep, poop & eat. Sounds kinda like what my life consists of. We babysat for her the other day & she slept the entire time. Most people would find this boring but I did not.

It is so interesting to watch her sleeping. She is obviously dreaming but I'm so curious to know what about. They say babies cant really see when they're first born & she obviously doesn't know how to speak so she can't have thoughts like we do. Yet without being able to see clearly or knowing anything about the world, she can have thoughts in these dreams. What could possibly make her smile or frown while dreaming? It must be just shapes & colors & what we would imagine to be a trippy kind of world.

This little girl will never know our country before we had a black president. She will never know a universe when Pluto was a planet. She will never know Beyonce as the leading lady of Destiny's Child, only as the successful solo artist that's married to Jay-Z. She will never have been alive when the Mets won a World Series (& probably never will be.) A world without reality television? Not in her lifetime. She will never have known her Auntie Amy as a teenager. The end of bananas might come in her lifetime (I'm not sure if that's just a rumor.) But the end of polar bears certainly might be true. It's just so interesting to think about this baby & what will come in her future. Oh you wanted to see a picture? Well okay! If you insist.

Step Off, Girl

As I sit here, Kelly is in the hospital & we are awaiting the arrival of my new baby niece. I'm trying not to go crazy waiting, though so I figured I'd make a new post & vent a little. I've been seeing this guy for a bit now & we went out again last night. He came to Staten Island & we went out to this little restaurant/bar around me for a few drinks. We decided to just sit at the bar & the bartender came over to take our drink order & I noticed immediately that she was giving him "the eyes". I am aware he's a good looking guy so that's fine, I can deal with that. Then the real annoyances began.

So we are sitting there drinking & I had less left than he did but she acted as if I was invisible & got only him another drink. I had to wait around until she finally looked to his right & saw I was empty. Then she proceeds to interrupt our conversation & ask where we are from & I say "we" loosely because she obviously wasn't talking to me. She too hailed from the state of NJ so she continues talking for about a half hour & would not shut up despite his & my best efforts to ignore her. I finally had to pull a Brandy & Monica & just show this girl the boy was mine & resorted to a bit more PDA then I am generally comfortable with. After a few dirty looks thrown my way she eventually gave up. He, of course found this all hilarious but appreciated my taking control of the situation.

I get that a bartender has to be courteous to the patrons & I have no problem having full conversations while enjoying my beverage but we're on a date so get the hint & step off, ho. Obviously if a guy is out with a girl, he wants to be talking to her & not you. Find your own man, girl, this one is occupied. And are you really trying to hit on him while I'm right there? If you're going to try to be a date-stealing slut, at least wait until I go to the bathroom or something. In the words of Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" The good news is, I must really like this boy if I'm willing to get the claws out. I'll let you know how it goes.

2010: HERE I AM!

YAYYY! Ever since the clock struck midnight to become 2006, I have been waiting for 2010! If you haven't been a follower of "Completely Random" for long, you may not know about my OCD with numbers divisible by 5. Well I'm very excited about this year because not only does it end in a 10 but both 20 & 10 are divisible by 5. It sounds stupid but to each her own. If I think this is going to be a good year, then gosh darn it I'm going to make it a good year.

It's a little hard for it not to be a good year because there will be a brand new baby in my life within the next 10 days or so!! My sister-in-law is having a little girl who I am going to spoil until the cows come home! Therein is my first New Year's Resolution: to be the best aunt that ever walked the earth! I've never been an aunt before but I think I can live up to the task. I've never even been a babysitter before, so it may be a bit of a challenge. I'm pretty confident, though, especially after my cousin's little girl was recently over who doesn't really warm up to anybody. I stepped up to the plate & entertained her & by the end of the night, she was begging to sleep over because she liked me so much. Great confidence booster that was!

Second & Third New Year's Resolutions are physical things that I'd like to accomplish. First is moving out of my house. It's easy to stay comfy here with having dinner made for me every night & not buying groceries & not paying rent & all, but as a 24-year-old, dear old Mom & Dad are really cramping my style. The other is (as it has been since I left Miami) to find a job in my field. A real job, not just a freelancing gig somewhere that they're going to replace me with an intern. These 2 goals basically go hand-in-hand because when I find a job, I will (hopefully) be banking enough dough to be able to afford rent at a nice place. Right now, I can't afford a whole lot so I'm gonna need to work on that.

Whatever comes in 2010, I'm sure it will be more then I am bargaining for. There are always twists & turns along the way but it all works out in the end. There's no way to prepare for it all but here's to hoping for a good year! Here I am, 2010, are you ready for me?

Everytime a Bell Rings, an Angel Gets His Wings

This being the holiday season & me loving "It's a Wonderful Life", I figured I would show what the literary world refers to as a paradox between my life & George Bailey's. I'm not really sure if paradox is, in fact the correct world but it makes me sound super intelligent so let's just go with it, shall we?

No, I didn't save anyone's life as a child, especially not my brothers' & they won't be war heroes anytime soon but other then that, we've got some similarities. Ever since George was a little boy, all he wanted to do was get out of Bedford Falls. I can relate. Yes, I got away when I went to college but I always had to return because of my very own Bailey Building & Loan (aka Holly Hill). I will probably end up working there forever, too. No, I don't have anyone lassoing the moon for me but maybe when we were getting married in 1st grade, Brendan Tracy leaned over & told me he'd love me til the day he dies (into my deaf ear, obviously).

This is certainly one of my favorite movies & it always puts me in the holiday spirit. Unlike George, I won't be contemplating killing myself anytime soon so I won't be needing Clarence to come & save me. It would be interesting to see how an individual can change people's lives, though. I don't think I've had all that much of an impact so I don't think the world would change too much, but you never know. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas you wonderful old Building & Loan!

Shaolinn Forevah

There has recently been some controversy surrounding the island upon which I live. To me, however, this is not controversy, this is my life. The island of which I speak is, of course Staten Island. Not only was there an SNL skit called Gossip Girl: Staten Island on last week but there was also a recent program on MTV called the "Jersey Shore", which featured your stereotypical Staten Islander. On today's front page of the Staten Island Advance, there was an article complaining about how this island is portrayed. Let me just say this, if you want to stop being portrayed in such ways, then stop living up to the stereotype!

Whenever I tell someone that I'm from Staten Island, their initial reaction is always, "Oh really, you don't sound/act like it." My response? "Thank you!! You don't know what a compliment that is." I do not want to be associated with this place. If it weren't for my family & friends that live here, I would've been gone long ago. I tried several times but just kept coming back after college & then grad school were finished. To quote the Advance, every portrayal makes "the uphill climb so much steeper for those who seek to defend and redefine the image of their home." No, not everyone is like this image that is portrayed but I would say we are in the minority for sure.

What makes all of these portrayals so much worse, is that there are still people who promote this image. If you wanna change it so much then why would you go on TV & proclaim to the world that you want to fist pump all day, every day? Stop calling yourself a guido/guidette. It's not a good look on anybody, except maybe your fellow goombas. If I lived in the time of Hitler, I would vote to eradicate every person who uses the word "yous". It is not a real word & I'm quite sure that a first-grader would tell you the same thing. You do it to yourself by openly proclaiming your lack of intelligence. What's even better is that they don't all realize how ridiculous they are. Charlie Balducci is quoted in the Advance as saying "It's just funny to me how terribly actors do when they're trying to re-create the authenticity of a guido or a guidette." This coming from the guy on "True Life: I'm Getting Married" who threatened to cut his limo driver's throat because he was 5 minutes late. Trust me, bud, they're not as far off as you think.

I just don't understand it. What is attractive about a roid-raging, orange-skinned, spiky-haired, gold chain wearing, cocky asshole? This island really is like another planet. Maybe that explains why I'm still single, because this human does not interact well with those aliens.