So in my experience, there are 3 kinds of dates: nice guy dates, asshole dates, & really great dates. Now I'm not saying I'm a serial dater & I go out on all of these dates all the time, but I think I know what I'm talking about here. I'm not even counting strictly your stereotypical dates like dinner & a movie. Meeting for drinks, hanging out just the two of you in a dorm room/apt/house, even meeting at a bar with friends & then hitting it off so well you hang out just the two of you the rest of the night all fall under my description. Let's look further.
First we will look at the nice guy. I try so hard to give the nice guy a chance, I really do. Nice guy dates usually include having him say something like "we can do whatever you want to do" & giving me absolute power while he is merely a servant. I had a date tonight that this kid was the epitome of the nice guy date. He used phrases such as "next time", "us", & "our relationship". He discussed meeting my parents, converting me into an ethnic food lover & even me converting him into a Yankee fan. Stop trying so hard, son. I think the break all questions of dates include such things as "What's your favorite kind of food?", "What nationality are you?" & "What is your favorite animal?" In my opinion, a good date will just flow & you don't need to have such forced conversation. Yes this date included all of those questions. It got so bad I resorted to telling my worst jokes. We met on Valentine's Day & I really thought he seemed really nice so I tried to make myself think he was attractive. We met for drinks & I'm a little drunk right now but on a date like the one I just went on, it's necessary. On a date with an asshole, such drunkeness is not always the solution, though.
Assholes are usually the really good looking guys & the ones who know this. Alcohol is not as necessary because at least they are nice to look at but sometimes you need it to be able to handle them. These are often the guys I go for (although I've gone on many a nice-guy nerd date.) I like a guy who takes charge & has an opinion of his own, but there is a balance there. It's not all about you, douche bag. I made the mistake of going out with the same asshole twice. The first time was way back in high school & I had such a crush on him so when he asked me to go to the movies I was ecstatic. The only problem was, we could only go to an 11 o'clock movie & one that his friend was going to also. We had to see the movie he wanted to see & the entire night he talked about himself. End of the date, end of story. A few months ago, this same boy contacted me again & we decided to meet up for lunch. I thought maybe he changed & he used to be good looking so why not give it a shot? Big mistake! Let's just say, some things never change except for perhaps his good looks.
As for the great dates, I can honestly say I have only been on 6 of them (or at least 6 guys, there may have been more then 6 dates.) With such dates, there have been connections. Not necessarily that we are destined to be together forever kind of connections, but definitely something. I'm pretty sure any of these 6 gentleman would be able to distinguish themselves & know they are one of the ones I am talking about because aside from 1 or 2, I still talk to them. Again, these dates do not have to be the stereotypical kind. It's just someone who you genuinely have a good time with & want to hang out with more. Whatever happens after that is beyond your control. I have been fooled a time or 2 by these great daters & they ended up in the asshole category, but at the time I thought they were great.
I like to think I am a good dater. I don't try too hard as the nice guys do but I try harder then the assholes. The kid tonight was very surprised when I told him I'd never been in a long-term serious relationship because he said I seemed like the type of girl who always had a boyfriend. That was the first time I ever heard that in my entire life. Now don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a boyfriend, it just usually turns out that the ones who I pick don't pick me back & the ones that pick me, well I don't pick them back. It's a vicious cycle but I do know that the few times that I have found those "great dates" was the times in my life that I have been the happiest. It's nice to have someone who cares about you as much as you care about them. Until I find that person though, I will continue to criticize my dates.
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