So yesterday I was watching Sex & the City & it was that episode when Carrie & Aiden first start dating & she's not sure if she is just his friend or is his girlfriend. This kind of made me think about last week when I was at 519. Alyssa said how I am always our friends' boyfriends' favorite. So why then, if all of these guys love me have I not found a boyfriend? I am in no way saying that I wish I had my friends' boyfriends, that is certainly not it. What I am saying is that I am always the friend & never the girlfriend.
Am I not girlfriend material? Is it because I am too much like a boy in that I love sports & beer? Probably not because Sam is like that too & she always has a boyfriend. Is it because I am too picky & overlook the good ones? Perhaps. Watching Carrie trying to figure out if Aiden was her boyfriend also reminded me of a number of relationships that I have had. In one, we would get along like great friends & make out frequently but when it came to an actual relationship, it never really came about. Another had been my best friend but when it came to us being more then that, it never worked out no matter how many times we tried. I'm having a similar puzzle now. This guy used to be my best friend & then we lost touch & recently reconnected again. Now we talk everyday but it's hard to tell if it's more then just a friendship. Apparently it's a pattern that I have & it's a tough one to break, especially because I don't know how or what I'm doing wrong.