Turning Over a New Leaf

I have recently seen the error of my ways & have decided it's time to turn over a new leaf. I have perfected the "fun/party girl"-look & I've got the "drunkest girl at the bar/party/enter name here"-look down to a science. The look I haven't tried on yet, or at least haven't come out of the dressing room to show anybody, is the "girlfriend"-look. As my 24th birthday rapidly approaches, however, I think it's about time to switch it up a bit.

The problem lies in this: I have no idea how to become a girlfriend. I've been so good at being "no-strings-attached girl" that I don't know how to tie them on me! How does a girl who is extremely uncomfortable discussing feelings & emotions try to bring that stuff up to a guy, who is equally uncomfortable with such things? And I don't want some wuss who all he does is discuss his feelings & follows me around like a lost puppy, I want a real man.

Problem number 2 lies in this. Real men are assholes, or at least the ones I'm attracted to/attract. I don't wanna have to settle for somebody either, especially since I've been looking for so long. I want a nice, funny, attractive guy over 5'9" who enjoys watching sports & calls before the hour of midnight, is that really too much to ask? I've got friends who are perpetual girlfriends that I seriously think I need some how-to lessons from. They all seem to have found pretty decent guys so the fact that I can't even find one really worries me. I think I'm quite a catch so I really just don't get it. I have been known to self-sabotage when I think somebody is getting too close, so I really need to quit with that first of all. One step at a time, though. Let's first find a guy who actually calls. Fingers crossed ladies, fingers crossed.