Thursday, September 25, 2008

Stop Putting Shit On Our Bodies, David Blaine!

David Blaine is quite a puzzle to me. He says he aspires to be like Houdini but I think he just aspires to be insane. His street magic is amazing & I really think he is a fabulous illusionist, but his stunts I just don't get. There's also something strangely sexy about him to me, but that's besides the point.

His latest stunt was hanging upside down for 60 hours while dangling above Central Park. He is a magician, but what exactly is magical about that? He's not doing anything mystifying, he's just proving to everyone how crazy he is. People criticized him for taking breaks to pee & drink water, which I also found hilarious. These people were coming to see him & walking all around him & under him, so why would they want him to pee while upside down? Don't they realize that they would get peed on? Maybe they would enjoy that, since he is David Blaine & all. Give the guy a break...he may be crazy but at least he has manners.

All his stunts are similar to this. He goes someplace where everyone can see him & makes a spectacle of himself. Whether it's frozen in ice, buried alive, holding his breath under water, or simply just standing on a high platform, he's just so bizarre. The A-Team played the game, what would you live in a box for. David Blaine would live in a box for a little publicity & a little weight loss. That's not magic, that's anorexia. There are a lot of other people who do that too, but you don't see them bragging about it to the world. They are actually in rehab getting help for that. Sorry David Blaine, but maybe you should stick with your card tricks & Cheez-its, you demon.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Yankee Stadium Memories

I'm just listening to Mike Francesa & people are calling in with their favorite Yankee Stadium memories. I wanted to call, but I have so many great memories that I would be on there as long as a scheduled guest would be. So I figured I would blog about all of my favorite memories as we head into the final series ever at the Stadium. I think my favorite is my most recent memory (see previous post).

The first game I ever went to was in 1997. Andy Pettitte was pitching but he got hit with a come-backer & was taken out of the game (in favor of Hideki Irabu).  It was the same day that Mother Theresa died, but other then that it wasn't a very memorable game. In 1998, the game was pitched by El Duque & we played the Seattle Mariners. This was the first time I saw Alex Rodriguez & thought he was amazing. He hit a home run in that game. Once I fell in love with him, that was the game I had to go to every year, when the Yankees were playing whatever team he was on. In 2001, I was at the ALCS when Alex hit a home run off Denny Neagle & we lost 2-0.

August 8, 2000 was one of my most favorite games. I was a little bummed going into the game because Chuck Knoblauch was my favorite & he went on the D.L. that very day. We were playing the Oakland A's & were losing 3-2 going into the bottom of the 9th. Jason Isringhausen came in to close it & Bernie Williams hit a home run to tie it. The crowd went crazy. Before Bob Sheppard was even able to announce him, David Justice came up & hit a home run on the first pitch. We won 4-3. I almost fell off the Loge balcony because I was jumping up & down like a crazy woman. It was amazing.

Another favorite memory was when we got to sit 10 rows behind home plate in my Dad's friend's seats in 2004. I like to get to the games early (ever since I missed a Chuck Knoblauch lead-off home run one game we were going to & I never let my Dad forget it.) We happened to be sitting, waiting for the game to start & a woman came up to us & said she needed a girl to do Yankee trivia during the game. Of course, I was more then willing to do so. I got put up on the big screen at Yankee Stadium & had to answer a question. "Who holds the Yankee record for most grand slams in a single season?" I knew the answer immediately was Don Mattingly but the woman tried to help me cheat & I looked at her with disgust & said "I know the answer!" I of course got it right despite everyone around me shouting the wrong answer. I won a $50 gift certificate to Modell's so I bought my A-Rod jersey with that money. After the game I even had a couple of fans who shouted my name, it was great.

One more memory was in 2005 against the then Devil Rays. Randy Johnson started & only lasted like 2 innings. We were losing 10-2 at one point early on & everyone thought it was over as the game headed into the 8th inning. So many people left but I told my Dad that real fans don't leave until the last out because as Yogi said "It ain't over 'til it's over." Well I was certainly rewarded for my loyalty because we scored 13 runs in the 8th inning to win by a final score of 20-11 (topped off by an Alex home run of course.)

There are tons of other games I've been to & they all have certain things about them that I will always remember, some good & some bad. My final visit to Yankee Stadium is certainly fitting, though. I said goodbye to baseball's cathedral in the grandest of ways.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Dream Come True

OK so I don't even know what to say. I just had the single most amazing day of my entire life. The past 24 hours have been the greatest of all time. This is going to be a long post because I never want to forget anything that happened. Here we go...

I was scheduled to work at the Yankee game on Friday night. When we got there, the rain just would not stop. After waiting around in the media cafeteria for 2 hours, they finally called the game. So then I was outside the press/player entrance waiting for the reporter to come out & I turn around & who do I see but Derek Jeter, his face about 2 feet from my face. I smiled of course as our eyes locked & he said "Good night" to ME! Those baby blues are far more beautiful up close & I fell a little bit more in love with Jeter then I ever had before. I would've been happy with that but then I was told if I wasn't busy that I could work at the next day's game. Not only would I get to go the game but I would also be getting paid for it on the regular salary as opposed to my intern salary of $5 per day.

The day started off like any other & when I got to the station, my photographer was all set to go so we wasted no time & were at the Stadium by 3:00. It was a double header so I was told upon arrival to go down to the clubhouse & get the post-game for Game 1. After I caught my breath, we proceeded. As we're waiting outside who comes to stand next to me? The woman who currently holds my future job...Kim Jones! I smiled & said hello & she was very nice & seemed like a stellar human being. As we're waiting Suzyn Waldman comes over & stands next to Kim, & she too seems like a very nice person. So I'm just standing in the hallway (with Kim & Suzyn) & about 10 feet in front of me walks my Alex. Our eyes locked but then it was over. I saw him only briefly for the rest of my time there, but trust me it did not damper my mood.

Unfortunately the real reporter got there just in time so I was not needed to do the interviews but I was of course still allowed to go in everywhere. So into Joe Girardi's office I go & as I stood there I looked at Joe & it was like he was an old friend of mine. Someone so familiar to me yet I had never met him before. It was exactly like I pictured it a thousand times. I felt like I completely belonged in this situation.

Some might think Disney World is the happiest place on earth, but to me I found the place that I am most happiest in & that place is the Yankee Clubhouse. After the interview with Joe, we walked in there & I immediately saw Thurman Munson's locker still vacant with the number 15 hanging above it. I felt the tears building up behind the eyes but they did not fall. They didn't fall because walking around in this magical place were my Yankees. Johnny Damon was the first one I saw as he breezed right past me. With his shorts & sandals on, he looked like a college kid. Mike Mussina was there too. So was Carl Pavano in his towel. Now I'm not a Carl Pavano fan but I am a fan of Carl Pavano in his towel. My goodness was he attractive up close. A bunch of other not-so exciting Yankees were walking around too & I was just standing there dumbfounded. Upon my exit out of my fantasy come true, I turned the corner of the hallway & there was Andy Pettitte, a foot from me & Xavier Nady sitting on a bucket on the phone. They all looked so real, how could this be a dream?

After some interviews were done, we had to wait for the actual game that we were doing. So in the meantime, we went out on the field. Yes, I was on the same first base that Lou Gehrig & Don Mattingly stood. I was on the field that all the greatest players that ever played the game of baseball stood. Can we say chills all over my entire body? Absolutely breathtaking. What the players say about walking into Yankee Stadium for the first time is true because that's the feeling that I got as I stepped onto that field. I snuck a picture...
After that we went to get something to eat (how I was able to hold food down I'll never know). Sitting at the table next to us was Suzyn & Michael Kay. I've met Michael several times from interning at YES so when he saw me he smiled in recognition & we said hello. This was of course before I went upstairs to the press box & Suzyn knocked into me (she said excuse me though, don't worry.) Then comes John Sterling at the table. To hear that voice in person was like something I cannot explain. Like I was in a dream because when would I be hearing John Sterling's voice in person in real life?

Since the Yankees won the second game, as soon as it was over our reporter got to speak with one of the players privately. While we're waiting in the hall, I here a familiar voice singing NY, NY & laughing. I turned around & it was Joba jogging down the hallway & he too was within inches of me. I wanted to tell him then & there that we should be best friends but I refrained because I didn't want to scare off my future best friend. So anyway, this player to interview after the game happened to be my blossoming love, Derek. So over he came & we locked eyes once again & it was just me, him, the reporter & the camera man alone. He did the interview & said goodbye & I said "Thanks, bye". Clearly, our conversations are building & now I am a familiar face to this Yankee shortstop.

Then I had to run to the truck to give them the tape of my boyfriend, the captain & run back so I could do the player interviews.  The reporter interviewed Joe Girardi & ran back those tapes & I returned to my favorite place on earth.  This time there were far more Yankees in towels & some in just boxers/briefs. Now I thought I loved the Yankees before but now I love them in a whole new, completely sexual way. They should probably cut out the uniforms all together & just stick with towels, I would not be opposed. So there I stood in the happiest place on earth surrounded by half-naked Yankees & I was getting paid for this?? Bizarro world. But so anyway, Xavier Nady was my first interviewee (along with the rest of the NY press). He was so pleasant & nice & wonderful & he touched my arm. My heart skipped about 5 beats on that brief encounter. Then we talked to Phil Coke, who was very un-exciting. Then onto the greatest closer of all time, Mariano Rivera. I didn't get a chance to ask any questions because they were stolen out of my mouth before I had a chance to shout them but it was still amazing.

I must have pinched myself & shook my head in disbelief about 268392 times today. This is literally a dream come true. The only thing I could possibly be disappointed about is that I didn't see Jeter, Cano or A-Rod at all in their towels but really nothing can make me upset about today. There are even a few things that I learned about the Yankees that I did not know before. Joba is actually extremely buff. He looks a little pudgy but that's all muscle believe it or not. Derek has surprisingly hairy arms. Mike Mussina has chicken legs. Someone on the Yankees, either Jose Veras or Damaso Marte, has a nice butt. Yes, I saw it out of the corner of my eye when he dropped his towel (I was trying too hard to be professional so I couldn't give it a full on look to see who it actually was since he was turned around). Dan Giese is stunningly beautiful. Xavier Nady smells amazing.

It was also the first time that I really believed that my dream job is 100% attainable. Not only is it attainable but I also know now more then ever that there is absolutely nothing else that I want to do. This is going to be my job. There I stood next to Kim Jones interviewing Yankee players in the locker room. The only thing that was wrong with the picture was that my microphone didn't have a YES Network flag on it. I am now more certain then ever that I can absolutely do this! Mark it down on your calendar that September 13, 2008 was the greatest day of my life. The first of many days like it.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Welcome to the Good Life

So much for life being blase lately! Well I guess present still kind of is but future is beyond exciting. I have so much to look forward to in the coming month & a half, I don't even know where to start.

Okay, so the original reason I chose My9 over FOX is that 9 has Yankee games & I thought this could be a good opportunity.  I have of course come to the realization that my team is done this year but that doesn't mean I still don't love each & every one of those guys. This all being said, I get to go to a Yankee game as a reporter on Friday! That's right! Kimberly Jones all the way! We're talking on the field, in the locker room, the whole nine! Dream come true!

If that wasn't enough to make me happy for the rest of my life, I was also given my graduation present from Ma & Pa Aubrey...the vacation of a life time! Some people have friends in low places, not me. I have them in amazing places. The trip will start out in L.A. so I can see that Stripper Theo I love so much. I'll be there for a few days & then we're driving to San Diego & I will be spending that portion of the trip with Billiam & K.Marsh (separately of course haha). Then after 6 days in Cali, I fly over to Hawaii to see my fiance Sarah Anne! I'll be there for 8 days & also get to visit my family & pseudo-cousin who goes to school there. My uncle has a boat so I'm hoping to get out with him one day & maybe swim with wild dolphins like he says he does all the time. AMAZING!!

After my 2 weeks of bliss, I come home & barely have enough time to get over the jet-lag. I'm off again to Miami a week later! The 3 coolest kids on campus return for a weekend that includes all my favorite things, like a Miami football game & a Thursday night/football Sunday at the Sandbar. Then I come home & it's Halloween, which is in my Top 5 favorite days of the year! Basically I'm living the good life. Now throw your hands up in the sky!

Monday, September 1, 2008

"I don't highlight my hair, I've still got a pair..."

So I know I've been a super slouch with this blog lately but life's just been so blase lately. Well anyway, tonight I heard a conversation that got me thinking & this was the gist of it...

"Well ugly girls get boyfriends easier then pretty girls do."
"That's because pretty girls are picky & don't put up with as much bullshit as ugly girls."

It was said in such a way that made it seem like this was obvious to everyone. Certainly was not obvious to me but it made sense. I have of course experienced this phenomenon first hand. A girl who was both ugly & fat swooped in on a former flame of mine. What did she have that I didn't have (aside from an extra hundred pounds or so)? The answer to this is that she gave him free use of her brand new Acura, all her leftovers, cooked for him, cleaned, bought him everything & even got him an embroidered blanket. Putting up with more bullshit then me is an understatement.

Now this is by no means me saying that my friends who have boyfriends are ugly. Perhaps it's because of my superficiality but if they were ugly, trust me they wouldn't be my friends. These girls are simply very lucky. I'm also not looking for excuses as to why I don't have a boyfriend & saying that I'm the best looking girl in the world. I am certainly confident enough however to feel that I'm what they call a "good catch". I just haven't found the right fisherman yet. Speaking of fisherman!...

Everyone asks me what my type is & as far as I'm concerned I don't really have one. The most common thread I find with guys who I genuinely care about is that they are tall & very good looking (although this is not absolute AS can be seen with a former habitual bad decision of mine.) But then I heard it! The description of my perfect man. Listen to the song "I'm still a Guy" by Brad Paisley & that's what I'm looking for! If you know anyone like this, pass my number along. A man's man. Someone who I am quite sure I will not find on the Isle of Staten. Someone Southern! Someone who might even be on a "Studs & Spurs" calendar. My heart belongs to a cowboy.