Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Crazy Dreams...

I have some pretty weird ass dreams & half the time I can't remember them all but I do remember the one I had this morning. So my cat Lily wakes up around 5 AM almost every day & sometimes when she makes too much noise or is too annoying I lock her in the bathroom so I can sleep. Such was the case this morning & then I fell asleep & this is what I dreamed...

She was banging against the door so I got up to let her out. When I opened the door, a large grizzly bear had somehow pushed aside my toilet & was climbing up through the hole in the floor. Lily ran out & I slammed the door (because you know, bears can't break down flimsy doors.) I'm not sure why I didn't flee my apartment but I guess I'm not much of a thinker in dreams. Instead I hid in my room with Lily & called animal control & decided it was safe enough to go back to sleep until they got there.

Then I woke up & just to be on the safe side, I let Lily out of the bathroom.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

The Way Boys Watch Sports...

I'm going to guess that even if you don't enjoy watching sports, you have at one point or another sat through a game with a group of boys. Yes? Then I highly encourage you to read on. I am surrounded by boys watching sports on a daily basis so I have a lot of research in this area. There are various ways that boys watch games. Let me explain.

First there is the play-by-play guy. This one is kind of self-explanatory. This type of guy will sit through a game & comment on every play & pretty much state the obvious of what is going on. I'm not a huge fan of the play-by-play guy because sometimes you just want to watch the game. I have eyes, I can see what's going on. I don't need you to tell me. I'm going to guess that this guy doesn't know as much as he pretends to & he feels he needs to make up for his lack of knowledge with constant chatter to distract everyone else.

The color commentator. This guy can be interesting to watch with because they will add their little tidbits of info or factoids & they usually add to your viewing experience, just as the actual color commentator on TV does. This guy usually knows a little more about sports than your average guy. He'll say things beyond what you might know.

The referee. This guy finds it necessary to call every play. In basketball, they always yell whenever there's a foul or a travel or anything that a ref working the game might call. Football, every penalty or first down is brought to our attention by said referee. I sometimes wonder if these guys sit at home with their yellow flags, ready to pounce. Also see: umpire.

The analyst. If you enjoy sports, you enjoy watching with an analyst. This is usually someone very familiar with the game, like a former player. It's generally someone people respect because their opinions seem to hold more traction. Color commentators strive to be analysts but they are always a step behind. Analysts don't necessarily talk throughout the game but really break it down for you during commercials or half-time.

The sideline reporter. This guy doesn't talk a whole lot during the game but when he does, he usually has some useful info. He'll pop up with a note here & there & just as on TV, your play-by-play guy will thank him.

I watch a lot of sports but there's a significant difference in the way girls watch & the way boys do. Watching sports for boys is kind of like a fraternity so it doesn't matter who is playing or if they care who wins, they will watch & plays their parts. Of course I'll argue with the refs (the ones actually working the games) & yell & scream when the situation warrants it. If it's not my team or a game that somehow affects my team though, I'm not watching with a purpose. 9 times out of 10, boys are.