Friday, February 20, 2009

I'ma Buy You A Drank

I've been on a saving money kick lately. I have a job for an accountant as a consultant & that's pretty good money. She even wants to add me on for another day, which is good because I'll get even more money. I'm not exactly accountant material & not really enjoying it but no complaints here because I'm lucky to have a job. I also recently applied to be a TV host aboard cruise ships, which if I got I'd be able to put my degree to good use while living aboard a cruise ship & being on a constant vacation. Pretty good idea if you ask me, so hopefully that pans out. But also in addition to making money, I've been trying to save it. Kind of like in Confessions of a Shopaholic: M.M.M & C.B. (Make More Money & Cutting Back.)

One way I've been cutting back is by trying to go out only once a weekend. All those nights of going out really add up. When I say "going out", I of course mean buying more drinks then most gals' livers can handle. It's probably better for my health to give up one of those nights too. On my big night out though, I also have a money-saving game plan. I simply flirt with an unsuspecting victim until he buys me a drink. I can sometimes get the bartender to do a shot with me without paying, too. It's an art form really. Obviously it's not successful 100% of the time, but I mean even the "Bend & Snap" only has a 98% success rate of getting a man's attention & when used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of a return on a dinner invitation. Woops, I digress. Sorry for getting all Elle Woods on you there. I will buy my own RBVs to start the night & then after those have kicked in & I'm ready for beer, I begin my maneuvering. You can't attack with a friend because they rarely offer to buy both of you a drink. In Hawaii however, some kid asked me what I was drinking & I told him 2 Bud Lights, 1 for me & 1 for Sarah. He looked annoyed but got them anyway.

The thing about buying drinks though, is that sometimes guys feel as if you now owe them something because they bought you a drink. Clearly T-Pain does. In my opinion, you owe them nothing. We immediately ditched the kid in Hawaii but he kept following. Thanks for the drink, but get the hint. It's not like you just went up to somebody & said "Hey you, wanna buy me a drink?" At least I hope you wouldn't do that, you saucy minx. If they offer to buy you a drink, that's on them. You can then decide whether or not you're interested & continue conversation or cut it off & run. Just because you agree to have a man buy you a drink does not mean you agreed to a night-long relationship. On Valentine's Day, I was in all my pimpin' glory. I had so many Valentine's & so many drinks bought for me, it was grand. I mean maybe this explains my lack of relationships but who cares, I'm having fun. It really is a playing field with this kind of game plan & that makes it all the more interesting.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Movie Review: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Going into the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I was told it was very depressing so I should be prepared for that. I think these warnings were a little much because I mean, yes it was sad but it was just such a good movie that I couldn't think about being depressed. It was basically a movie that had a continual theme of death but it was in a way that made it just a part of life & not something overly sad. I'm still not entirely sure why he was aging backwards & I know it had something to do with that clock, I just don't get why it was him. I suppose as movie-goers we're just meant to accept this, but I always look far to into everything.

The acting was superb. Brad totally deserves the Oscar, except his pretend New Orleans accent didn't really do it for me. His face, however gets me every time because he looked beautiful. I was trying to figure out how they made him so mini as an old man at the ripe old age of 7, but they used other actors for his body & just put tons of make-up on, I suppose. It still looked like Brad, though so I guess that's why it's nominated for the Oscar for Make-up & lots of other special effects. The sets, the costumes, the directing, everything was just great. I didn't see all of the other movies nominated for Best Picture yet, so I can't say it should win but I really enjoyed it.

It's a really interesting concept for a movie. In the beginning when he appeared to be so old, he met a young girl & you normally would be creeped out by this but you can't be, because technically he's supposed to be the same age as her. As they get closer in age, the roles begin to reverse & she's the creepy one. I'm not really ruining the movie by saying this because you know what's happening the whole time. It definitely is about true love, though whether that love is between a man & a woman, a parent & child or friends.

Grade: A

P.S. Happy Valentines Day!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Commuter Diaries

So I've been a commuter for a grand total of 4 days but I've already had some things happen that I found quite amusing, so I thought I'd share them. The "Commuter Diaries" is almost exactly like that movie Basketball Diaries, except for the whole giving sexual favors in exchange for drugs & money. We commuters exchange sexual favors for free bus rides (although most people just opt for the old fashioned way of paying their $5.) I generally just sleep on the bus but the few times I have been awake, I've seen some pretty interesting things.

This morning, I opened my eyes for a brief minute & I happen to catch a glimpse of a bumper sticker someone had on their car & I couldn't help but chuckle aloud to myself. It said, "I'm only speeding because I really have to poop." Stupid & disgusting, yet quite kind of humor to a T. Then I closed my eyes again & when I opened them at one of the last stops on the island, the bus was a lot more crowded. Then, on walks this woman with, I kid you not, warts all over her face. I had an empty seat next to me so I prayed to God that this warty woman would not sit there because I didn't wanna catch whatever toad-like disease she was carrying. I was about to pull a Forest Gump on her ass & tell her "seats taken, can't sit hea" (in my most Alabama-like accent) but luckily she hopped along & didn't even attempt to sit. She must have seen my sleepy, disgust-filled eyes glaring at her.

On my way home from work, an X8 pulls up just as I am getting to the stop & I thought "Oh perfect!" The driver opens up the doors & I obligingly get on & he immediately tells me to get off. I was of course confused because if that warty woman was allowed out of her contamination cellar & onto public transportation then why was I being rejected? I thought karma, but he told me that he was "Not In Service" & this is how the conversation went...
Amy: "But weren't you just an X8?"
Bus Driver: "Yes, but now I'm not in service."
Amy: "Did your bus break down?"
Bus Driver: "No"
Amy: "Are you on a break?"
Bus Driver: "No"
Amy: "Then why are you not in service?"
Bus Driver: "Because I just am, now get off."
In the words of Stephanie RUDE! I hate buses that are "Not In Service". There's enough traffic in NY, we really don't need buses that are serving no purpose whatsoever driving around & clogging up the roads. Either park it or pick me up. I was on a bus recently that after I swiped my MetroCard, it became a "Not In Service" but that's because there was a serious problem. By serious problem, I mean that (in the words of the driver) "the mirror is spinny". I don't know what that means to you but to me, it meant I had to sit on the bus for 20 extra minutes until they could fix the "spinny mirror". That's all I've got for now but I'm sure there will be plenty of other adventures to come, so stay tuned.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Standing By My Man

I suppose I couldn't just let this controversy pass on by without mentioning it. As it seems, my Alex (& yes, he's still my Alex despite this silliness) has admitted to using steroids from 2001-2003 while he was with the Texas Rangers. Whenever anyone has brought it up to me, I just say I don't wanna talk about it because I wanted to hear what Alex had to say for himself beforehand. Today he had an interview with Peter Gammons on ESPN, so now I think my time has come to comment.

I am in no way condoning what he did, but I guess he just felt pressure to live up to his contract. Maybe he realized it was the wrong thing to do & saw his numbers really weren't all that much better & gave it up when he came to the Yankees. I mean, at least he was man enough to admit it & not try to deny knowing about it or even worse, pin it on his wife like Roger Clemens did (although by the looks of Cynthia, I really wouldn't be surprised if she had some roid-rage of her own.) He's human, he made a mistake. He's not exactly a clutch player so I'm hoping this doesn't add more pressure to him. He said in his interview that getting this all out in the open was a good feeling for him & that "the truth will set you free". He did this to himself so we will just have to wait & see. If he does good, he will be cheered. If not, you can guess. He made his bed so now he has to lay in it.

What I wanna know is what about these other 103 players that tested positive? There is no doubt in my mind that there are plenty of other big names on that list but they are only singling out Alex. These were anonymous tests so he could probably sue the union if he wanted to for releasing that information because that's gotta be some sort of breach of contract. And why release it now? If they were going to do that then why wouldn't they have done it sooner? And why save it if you were never supposed to release it?

I get that baseball is a game of numbers so by him doing steroids, he taints those numbers. I really believe, though that if you take away those 3 years, those 156 homeruns & those 395 RBIs, his numbers will still be up there with the greatest of all time. He cannot be denied the Hall of Fame because of this. We romanticize the game of baseball & call these the "Steroid Years" & now the game is ruined. Let's be honest, though. Joe D & Mickey Mantle & Babe Ruth were not gods. If they had available to them what players have available to them now, they would do the same thing. I also have to wonder why it's such an enormous deal in baseball but steroids in football, nobody gives a shit about. Don't even try to say there aren't any in football because that's the funny thing I've ever heard.

Alex is my favorite player so I am giving him the benefit of the doubt & believing that he is not doing it anymore. I know how hard he works out, I mean I did often stalk him when he was working out at the U. I don't think he should be punished unless they want to punish every one of those other 103 players. If anything, take away his MVP award that year. He still won two more when he was clean. In fact, 2007 was one of the best seasons of his career. He is still one of the greatest players to ever play the game of baseball & this does not alter my opinion of him. Of course I am disappointed but I truly believe that he is sorry for what he did & you could tell that by how emotional he was. Everyone makes mistakes & I am willing to forgive. I will be cheering for him as I always do with my #13 jersey on come the start of the season.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Movie Review: He's Just Not That Into You

After reading the book, He's Just Not That Into You I looked at life/love situations from a different perspective. I loved the book so naturally when I heard they were making a movie about it I was excited. Then I heard who was in the cast & I was even more excited. Halfway into the movie, however I was very unexcited. It made me completely depressed & feel like I will never find anyone who is really "that into me". Then I slapped myself back into reality & realized that not every relationship is so incredibly flawed & doomed to failure.

The character "Gigi" reminded me of How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days when she's trying to drive the guy away, except they expected us to believe this was how the girl really was. She was the ultimate caricature of what girls do wrong & it just made the whole thing so unrealistic. It was entertaining & funny because I think we all have a little bit of this girl in us sometimes but definitely not to that extreme. It made women look so pathetic, though, which again made the movie depressing. Jennifer Aniston was by far my favorite part of the movie because until the end she was the only female character who was remotely strong.

Three quarters into the movie was when it started to get better for me. It was overall a cute movie but definitely not as good as I'd hoped for. It kind of gave a mixed message at the end because the whole idea of the book was to make you believe you are not the exception, you are the rule. Life is not a movie so as women, we shouldn't believe that men will change, blah blah blah. Since this was a movie, however you got your typical movie endings. I think in the end, they should have just left it as a good book & not tried to make it anymore then that.

Grade: C+

Monday, February 2, 2009

A Brief Blog About the Hog

Although I already wrote a blog today, I forgot what important national holiday that today is...Groundhog Day! It's the silliest of traditions. If the groundhog sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of winter; if not, we get spring. My gripe about this is that if he sees his shadow, doesn't that mean that it's sunny & that it should be spring? Here on the Isle of Staten, we have contradicting weather-hogs. Punxatawny (or however the F you spell it) Phil did indeed see his shadow, whereas good old Staten Island Chuck did not. I guess this means that SI, NY is getting an early spring while everyone else has to suffer. It's nice living in our own little world sometimes.

Superbowl Funday

No my team was not in the Superbowl this year but that couldn't get me down. Superbowl Sunday is such a wonderful holiday. Why it's not officially a national holiday I don't know. I remember hearing on the radio a while ago that the Top 3 days of the year that people in America drink are New Years Eve, St. Patricks Day & the Superbowl. I'd add my birthday to that list too but even with the amount I drink on that day, I don't think it would average out to the Top 3. Top 10, maybe.

Everyone watches the game, even if they don't like football. My mom watches it for the commercials & halftime show. But no matter what your reason for watching, you still drink an absurd amount of beer & eat too much & are hungover the next day. This much is obvious. The Monday after the Superbowl is a miserable one. We're all going through the same thing. Well not me, I'm unemployed so I can be hungover on my couch but I can still relate. Just as everyone has off for New Year's Day, they should also have off the Monday after the Superbowl. New Year's Day isn't a real holiday, we're just off to sleep off that hangover (since the Eve is the #1 drinking day/night). If you think about it, people aren't productive on that Monday anyway so what's the point of working? I don't know statistics or anything but I'd guess that a lot of people call in sick, probably more then your average Monday.

Going to work the Monday after the Superbowl is about as productive as those Friday morning classes we had in Miami. If I was a college professor, I'd cancel all my classes that day or at least morning classes. This would be not only for my own benefit but I bet you the students wouldn't complain. Who do you petition about this? Obama keeps saying it's time for change, well how about we throw this in with all the things that should change! Who's in?

As for this year's game, congratulations to the "Shitsburg Squeelers" as El Sanko would say, although she probably wouldn't congratulate them. It was a good game & I really wanted Arizona to pull it off, but just wasn't in the Cards I suppose (yes pun intended.) Good job Calais, with the tackle in the 1st Quarter (I could've been a Superbowl wife.) Jennifer Hudson was absolutely phenomenal singing the National Anthem & I love her so much. Got a little choked up actually because it was just such a wonderful rendition. The Boss was pretty good at Halftime, although I would've liked it better if Kevin Boss was playing during the game. Oh well, I sound like a Mets fan but we'll get 'em next year.